The Start.

Welcome to The "Fat Girl" Logs! My name, if you do not know it already, is Amber. I am also known as rockandroll55 on Youtube, yume-yukino on Deviantart, and simplyfalling on Twitter. The purpose of this blog is to inform readers of my body image issues, the pressure of being a female in our society, and also my journey to weight loss and becoming an overall better person. I hereby pledge to log every single day of my intake, my exercise, and any other random thing that comes up. If I am unable to get on the internet one day, I will still put information up corresponding to that day when I get the chance.

The Start--

As a child, I had long brown hair, blunt bangs, and big brown eyes. My smile was goofy with imperfect teeth as I had and underbite, though this did not deter from the fact that my dimples were deep craters in my cheeks. I was incredibly shy and reserved, though close to my family. Despite all my shortcomings, there was still one that outweighed them all--I was always the slightly chubby one.

Now, I am not saying I was the "fat kid" growing up. I was just average. Clothes rarely fit for more than a couple weeks as I was constantly growing. Even now I remember the insecurities I had when my shirt rode up or my pants grew tight. The growing started early and didn't stop when I wished for it the most.

Up until nearly high school, I was the tallest girl in class. I also developed quite early, I remember. In fourth grade, age nine, I wore juniors clothing and sometimes womens. I was between a size 8 and size 10, but still seemed quite lanky as I was around 5'3", I believe. At this point, my mom did not begin the pressure.
The pressure began in around 7th grade when I was 12 or 13. I was a size 11/12 juniors at this point. My best friend was between a 5 and 8, depending. Often my mom compared me to her stating that "if I was as small as her, perhaps I would be happy." I remember thinking to myself "I am not happy?"

As I aged more and more, my size grew also. I was around a 13/14 for much of high school but Senior year was about a size 16. My mom kept on telling me how I would be happier, prettier, and overall better. That then I would maybe get more friends. Then I would be more popular with boys. Then I would be okay. As the constant nagging wore on me, I found myself often in a deep depression. The insecurities were a nasty habit to break. Now, I feel as a size 16-18, I have overcome a lot of the issues. Now it is my time to prove myself. I am taking the challenge to become more fit.

Another reason behind this journal is I want to become a better person.

Here are my goals overall:
1.) Get to be around 140-160 lbs.
2.) Be nicer.
3.) Bring God back into my life.
4.) Move out.
5.) Honor Roll in college.
6.) Abstain from sex until marriage.

My 'Detox' Plan:
Breakfast- Berry yogurt smoothie
Lunch/Dinner- Spinach Salad
NO POP. ONLY WATER/JUICE.

The Detox Plan will start immediately. I will do this for two weeks.

-Amber